by Elizabeth Croydon
A dry cleaning flyer fell out of my Daily Tribune and crashed into my Irish breakfast. I knew the tight, slanted scrawl along the back well. A message from that paranoid, uptown dick that fancies himself the Gentleman of wacky tobaccey. An invitation, in fact, to the double-hush speak-easy from Elevated Events Group for his dandy little rag. This bearcat was not about to miss out on a chance to get all dolled up! I combed the closet 'til I found the ab-so-lute cat's pajamas - what with the baubles, the bangles, and the beads- to set off this chassis while I did the Charleston. Horsefeathers! I had the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
Sure, looking for the pre-party destination where we picked up our free cannabis treat was a balled up mess of baloney, a total fiasco, all balled up, but they held a make-up event for those that missed out on that night. Once you got to the gin mill everything was Jake. A couple drugstore cowboys and dames decorated the street outside. This Jane's gams couldn't wait to cut a rug, and carried me up to the roof top. I needed to get a wiggle and some giggle water, not in that order!
The juice joint was blazing. Favors from Canna Care Docs were available for take home. Pikers and palookas were scarce. I went goofy over the keen crowd. I didn't get spifficated, I got splifficated! Our hosts were mahvelous, Shebas and Sheiks all 'round, and the medicated sinkers were the real McCoy.
[caption id="attachment_783" align="aligncenter" width="300"] DJ Adam Dutch on Soundcloud[/caption]
I recognize Alan Parker in his haberdashery - a favorite poet of the area for twenty years. Some bimbos guarded the door. Not a bluenose in the joint. There may have been bluenose in the joint. Is that a strain? I don't know.* Not my beeswax, really. We beat gums, just passin' the time, the high-hats n' riff-raff all jammed up together. Flappers and fly-boys took the dance floor and one Darb picked up all the debs' tabs. He was just berries! Jitnies and jalopies dropped off owls looking for a hoot all night. Ocean, our host, was just ducky. DJ Adam Dutch was putting on the ritz for sure as though he blew in straight from Tin Pan Alley. Not a Mrs Grundy in sight. Just Molls, gold diggers, and swells having a nifty time on the level. The days of Tokers on the lam are over. DC has been Elevated. Let's cut a rug to celebrate, Mac!
Elizabeth Croydon is a stand-up comic. Follow her on Instagram @elizabethcroydon and Twitter @ecroydon. Catch her act at Buckeye+Bear on Friday, October 28th for District Cabaret and on Saturday, October 29th at Old City Farm and Guild for Funny at the Farm.
Elevated Events Group is on Facebook at /ElevatedEG and Instagram @elevatedeventsgroup.
*(Bluenose is not, in fact, a strain, but it is a seedbank, apparently. Huh. Learn something new everyday, right? In fact, here's a guide to the Roaring 20s slang the exceptional Ms. Croydon used to honor the spirit of Elevated Events' Prohibition 420 party. -GT)