Tangerine Dream[/caption]
I enjoy a good Blue Dream, but as I've noted on a few reviews, it's not ideal meds for me as it doesn't hold up well against anxiety as some other options. The husky citrus of Real Deal's Tangerine Dream, of unrelated parentage, fixes the problem with a heavy limonene boost that also strengthens its depression-fighting properties while allowing me to enjoy an easygoing walking daydream that's close enough to the Blue I'm looking over my shoulder for Heisenberg. Save this one for when you can chill, laugh, or for the last bit you smoke while writing your weekly weed review column. Coffee is for deadline closers, sweetheart!
Mmmm, that sugary sweet, aptly named LA Woman. Smoking these flowers is a unique experience, a shimmering Haze-like brain rush Voltroned to a strong mood balancer, this sativa is sure to loosen a silver tongue and send you off to crash parties with all the charming naivete of an Alabaman ingenue. I'm always on the lookout for a social strain that'll push me to talk with people and not slink off into some dark corner to seethe and plot against all the ignorant, happy sheep, look at them all, chewing cud with their plastic faces, masticating and fornicating with the blissful abandon afforded to fools, their meek minds unable to comprehend their utter worthlessness as they swirl ever farther toward the impatient maw of Oblivion...see, this is why it's better that I talk to people. I start getting all weird here by myself with only a rambunctious, colorful bunch of tiny, foul-mouthed monsters to keep me company.
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Grape Ape[/caption]
Speaking of! This week's column was originally gonna come out early and way more ranty thanks to that Grape Ape. I love that purple Kool-Aid flavor but these flowers get me amped up. I was all set to bash the short-sightedness of some right-wing cuckoo questioning why they should have to pay for other people's healthcare when they take care of themselves, thank you very much. I had this whole sermon in mind about the unpredictability of disaster that was rapidly degenerating into sheer belligerence before I kirked out on my roommate for asking me to turn down the heat. In my defense, Don't Fuck With My Heat. I'm negotiable on my needs for laundry, water, electricity, light...but keep that heat pumping, baby. Right, so after that, I decided to step away from that particular angle, but I can't stay away from you, Grape Ape. Probably better saved for workouts, shoveling snow come June because don't tell me we won't have to, the seasons change by the hour these days but thank goodness, our country will have the best environment, bar none, once the Orange One tears up all these pesky regulations hindering us from following the sterling models set by nations like China and India (uhhhh dude wut?), or, like, angry, angry make-up sex. I guess. Or just another Tuesday. Fuck, some rageahol sure hits the spot every now and again...
Lucky for the Gentleman, he doesn't have to live with the constant worry that the uncertain dimensional bubble in which he ekes out a meager existence is going to be compressed and erased utterly as its border collide with the dominant reality in which he did get to smoke some of Real Deal's latest trio of green beauties, because he did, and obviously, you should, too. I can barely reach the top shelf these flowers sit upon, I can not recommend enough that you get yourself down to one of the events he's featured at and check them out for yourself. While there's still time, young Padawan! Oh wait! He's also got what I understand to be some real premier concentrates from these strains, too, and I hear the LA Woman/Tangerine Dream combo is particularly impressive. I haven't had any yet and I'm already starting to fade out of this old photograph!
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